Prepare to lose some friends.

 Seriously.  And I mean real friends, not aquaintances.  Friends are those that you know have your back, that you can trust and rely on.  The rest are aquaintances.  I don't use the word "friend" lightly.  If you can count the number of friends on your fingers, you are rich whether you realize it or not.  But..  when you take on a demanding and time consuming responsibility of taking care of a loved one that can no longer take care of themselves, you are going to lose those friends.

And you can't blame them either.  You're no longer available, for whatever.  Your social life is gone for the most part and once things really get worse with time it will be gone completely.  You rarely have time to yak on the phone even any more.  Slowly they will dwindle.  No one wants to be the one always calling and asking "how are you doing" and then having to listen to all the shit that is going on in your life.  I hate to say it but even the good stuff begins to get boring to listen to because before you realize it, your world revolves around your loved one you are caring for and that's all you know these days.  So that's all you talk about.   Love your friends but please don't blame them if they drift away and keep in mind they still love you but they can't cope with your life choices.  Others in the same position as you will understand but for the most part, it's as hard on your friends as it is on you but with you it's a choice you made.

I can probably count my friends on one hand these days.  Ones that I talk to, ones that listen to my dribble, ones that step up to the plate when I'm losing my mind because too many things are happening at the same damn time and it's spinning out of control.

Right now I can say thanks to Ravinder, Elsie & Kim.  All three of these ladies have stepped up above and beyond for me recently.  Ravinder who is my right hand with my business and takes care of my dogs while I'm at the hospital for hours on end.  Elsie for running around and doing errands for me whenever she can and for taking my sick dog to her vet appt..  And Kim who stepped up and took my sick dog for me and kept her for days until she had to go back to work.  And even now she peeks in on her at the Vet and walks her.  I am so grateful to have Kim back in my life as my friend.  I kind of lost contact with her for a while.  I'm also a lot older than her but even so, she's comfortable with me.  Having these 3 ladies in my life makes me a rich woman.  And a very thankful one.

long time again

When I took this blog up I had all the right intentions, I really wanted to get it done.  But...  with taking care of my mom and it becoming more intensive, work and my own shitty health (I did 6 weeks over the holidays in hospital myself) and then my mom's health issues as they grow more often and more difficult, I simply don't get to this.  Especially if I want just a few moments to myself now and then.  Sometimes I just like to read the news or catch up on facebook where a lot of my family is so I can see what they are up to these days or the few friends that are there.  If I didn't do that I would be so out of the loop it would be ridiculous.  Anyway.. I finished one post and will try to work on another.  LOL good thing no one reads this because they'd never come back for more since I never have time to type.  I met a man who wrote a book about taking care of his wife who had Alzheimers and it goes from the start until when she finally passed away from it.  I have a copy of his book.  He must have written it afterwards, there's just no way he did it while taking care of her.  People don't understand how time consuming this kind of caregiving is.

A multitude of names...

Let's see now...  I'm Vivian, Chuck, Mother, Mommy, Mom, Sheri, Viv, Kathleen, Dorian, and many others.  I'm having a good day if she can remember my name at times.  Be prepared for this.  You may not think much of this but when it happens to you it's shocking.  Not only is it shocking but it downright hurts.  You are the one that cares for them 24/7 but they can't remember your name.  :-(   You'll get over it or past it and it will take time but I guarantee you, every time your loved one remembers your name it's a moment you'll remember. :-)  These times go in spurts with my mom but they happen.  I've also experienced once when she didn't know me at all, not my name nor did she recognize me, and it was crushing.  Later that afternoon though I heard my name called :-)